Helicopters, Cell Phones and Girlfriends: 5 Unpardonable Sins Against Golf

April 18, 2016

1. Do not play slow!! Pace of play is a plague on the game and it starts at the top- see 5-hour rounds on the PGA Tour. Play ready golf, don’t ever take stroke and distance once you’ve left the tee box, don’t circle the green sizing up a two-foot putt, and don’t look to long for a wayward shot. Every player, no matter his or her handicap, is capable of playing at a reasonable pace.

2. Silence the cell phone. If you need to check your phone or use it as a GPS, feel free to do so (as long as it doesn’t slow play), but make sure it is on silent mode. There is no need to hear your ringtone or an annoying beep when you receive an email.

3. Golf is a difficult game. We all need help, but, please, no matter how good you believe your advice to be, don’t provide us high handicappers with swing tips halfway through a round.  Trust me, it won’t end well. If I was capable of making a mid-round swing correction, I wouldn’t be carding a score in excess of 90.

4. We all love our significant others, but a golf trip is a chance to enjoy a little freedom. Don’t bring girlfriends and wives (or boyfriends and husbands) to the course on a buddies trip. On behalf of your friends, let me thank you in advance.

5. No helicopters on the golf course. The game is frustrating and anger can occasionally get the best of even the most even-keeled players, but don’t throw your clubs. It’s bad form, it will detract from your playing partners enjoyment of the round, and of course, no one wants to be Judge Smails!