Lessons From the Road: 30 Years of Driving From Philly to Myrtle Beach

September 19, 2014

Somehow I even managed to tie for low net once with a buddy despite making a sloppy double-bogey (as if there’s any other kind) on my closing hole, the par-3 ninth. Highlight of my career. Many of us would of course drive over to Augusta National the next day to cover the Masters. So it never made sense for me to drive, logistically or financially, since my newspaper was taking care of the flight.

For the better part of the last two decades I’ve been taking my family down for a vacation each summer. And for the most part we load up the car or in some cases a rental mini van and go. I used to have a station wagon. I even know some guys who’ve packed into an RV and made the trip. But it can take about 11 hours, depending on traffic and how often you stop. So there is that.

When the kids were little we normally would drive halfway and spend the night, where they could be counted on to close the pool. And it seemed to work, for everyone. Sometimes we would even go to an amusement park, either King’s Dominion or Busch Gardens.

It definitely broke up the ride, although it did mean more planning, costs and time. We felt the sanity trade-off was well worth the extra effort. Anyone who’s been with kids on the road for that long will understand.

As everyone grew older, the parks were no longer as viable an option. The mindset seemed to change to let’s just get there in one shot and start enjoying the sand and golf. And, at the end of the week, the urge to get home again became equally prevalent. So that’s what we did.

One year we spent a few days at Pinehurst before returning and my wife thought it was too much. If nothing else, I can take a hint. It’s why I remain relatively happily hitched.

At some point we even started taking a different travel route. At first we simply headed south all the way to the tourist trap otherwise known as South of the Border. And at first it wasn’t bad. We still have some cheesy sourveniers to prove it. My mom actually liked the pulled-pork sandwich at one of their restaurants. But then it took another two hours going across South Carolina, through many towns where you could only go like 25 miles an hour. Despite the fact that it could be semi-scenic, it was a violation waiting to happen.

I finally figured out that I could get off 95 at Route 40 and take that over to Highway 17 near Wilmington, which left a straight shot to North Myrtle. In theory I shouldn’t hit a light from the time I leave Philly until I reach the coast. Does wonders for your gas mileage, although I do kind of miss all those Pedro Sez billboards directing you to SOTB.

Almost as much as the dreaded shanks.

Anyway, by now I almost know the landmarks by mile marker. We’re going to eat breakfast at a Waffle House, if we don’t opt for an early lunch at Smithfield’s Bar-B-Q (there are two on 40, and two more on 17). I can be a creature of habit. Just like I know where every Jack in the Box is located in America. But that’s another story. The important thing is, we almost have it down to a science.

Going back, there’s two Ponderosa steakhouses in Virginia. Exits 92 and 130ish. You can’t make that up.

We’ve learned that driving down at night makes the most sense. Because if you don’t get through Washington at the right time, you’re going to have issues. We found that out the hard way one year, when we left at like noon since my daughter didn’t want to try and sleep in the backseat.

Never again.

It was a Friday, and it must have taken us a good three hours to go maybe 20 miles at one stretch in northern Virginia. I was a basket case. I asked someone where the accident was, and they just said it was a normal Friday afternoon. Ever since we’ve left about 10 at night, which should get us there at a good time the next morning, even if we have to wait to get into our room.

But nothing’s perfect.

It turns out that work crews sometimes do their stuff in the wee hours. Which means we’ve got stuck getting through some serious lane closures. I still consider it the better alternative. Just as I now make sure that I arrive on a Friday. Because once, we found ourselves in stuck a long line on a Saturday on Route 9, which was the only way we knew how to enter North Myrtle at the time. Again, it’s all about adjusting. There are ways to navigate around Washington that don’t involve 95, but they do involve lots of traffic lights. And I’m more of a cruise control kind of guy.

Once, we took 17 coming back all the way up into Delaware, which meant I got to go over the 23-mile long Chesapeake Bay Bridge (it’s so long it even has a rest stop in the middle) and stop in Maryland at my first Stuckey’s (go for the milkshake, even though they’re known for their pecan rolls). And while it was nice to see something other than the monotony 95 can be, it does take longer despite the fact that it’s sort of more direct. When you’re still only at Dover at midnight, you start to lose your patience.

Trust me.

The biggest advantage to driving is, you can obviously take more with you than could for a plane ride and you don’t have to rent a car. Yes, you’re going to spend more on gas. But it’s probably still less than the rental charges. Besides, gas is way cheaper in South Carolina. And with flying, besides the airfare, there’s baggage fees. You’ll get there quicker, but these days you have to figure in the time it’s going to take you to get to the airport and deal with all the hassles there.

Any more I find myself driving to a lot of places that at one time I would have never thought of not flying to. So you weigh the pros and cons and do what you think best suits your particular needs. Because they’re hardly the same for everyone.

I will leave you with this thought, though: a year ago, since my daughter was getting married and my son couldn’t get the time off from work and a couple we were supposed to be traveling with had to pull out late, my wife and I were thinking about not going. But her best friend owns a time-share in Myrtle, and they were driving. For some reason we couldn’t get down there until Monday, so we decided to fly down, have them pick us up at the airport and then come home with them.

We found a cheap one-way fare, and they took what little luggage we were bringing. All problems solved. And you know what? It wasn’t bad, even though we were delayed about an hour or so departing from Philly. On the ride back I did think once or twice about how nice it might be to already be sitting in my lounge chair with the TV remote in my grubby hands. But this year we chose the road once more, for better or whatever. Some habits get hard to break.

Oops, almost forgot to mention the time they had to close 95 due to an overturned 18-wheeler. Fortunately we came to a stop near an exit. So we talked to a truck driver, who gave us an alternate way around the tie-up. Nothing to it. We heard later that things didn’t get opened up again for several hours. Sometimes you have to get lucky. Like knowing where the speed traps are in southern Virginia (hint: be careful near Emporia). By now I’ve collected more than enough stories to pass along. Just hope some of them maybe help you get there relatively pain-free.

Just in case, take plenty of aspirins.

Mike Kern is an award-winning sports reporterMike Kern has been working at the Philadelphia Daily News almost since the time he graduated from Temple University in 1979, first as a high-school writer, then as the college and golf writer. A lifelong Northeast Philly native, he’s covered every Masters and U.S. Open since 1990, and almost every PGA. He’s also been to seven British Opens, and has won multiple awards from the Golf Writers Association of America, Basketball Writers Association of American and International Network of Golf. He’s been to Myrtle Beach almost too many times to mention. He’s also covered countless women’s golf tournaments, including majors, as well as many USGA Championships.


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